For some time now I have been working on the process of using breathing to settle down and go deep into my self to figure out what it will take to accept the situation and let go of the upset.
For most of us, upsets that fit this description come in levels. The levels start with upsets that are easy to resolve and maybe even ignore. Next come the upsets that require a reframe and change of attitude. And, finally comes the serious upsets that stick around, fester, and cause frustration and anger that leads to an internal dialogue like “I don’t like my choices!”
This blog offers a solution for serious upsets that involves breathing your way through some steps that make up a process that will allow you to resolve the upset and free yourself from feeling like the victim.
Have you ever had a conversation with yourself that went something like this:
“The negative thoughts about my present situation are outside of my control. These negative thoughts have become a major distraction to my well being. I have joined the fellowship of the miserable. I’m unable to move forward. Acceptance is not an option. I don’t like my choices."
If you have experienced a situation that is impossible to accept, rest easy, the solution is not as difficult as you might think. With deliberate practice you will be able to follow the steps, resolve the issue or negative situation and like your choices.
Use a command like "stop" to interrupt the negative chatter. Then use deep nasal breaths to settle down and divert the negativity.
Keep breathing deeply until you are able to accept the situation and bring clarity of purpose into the moment.
Don’t Think–Just Do!
Follow the advice from “Top Gun: Maverick” and learn to focus on the feelings and sensations that allow you to get the job done and maintain the integrity of the process.
For example, I was called to the bedside of a young man who was critically ill. As I walked into his room in the hospital, I learned that his severe pain was the result of his team of doctors making a mistake with his meds. At that moment, I became angry. My thoughts were quickly becoming a distraction. Fortunately, I was able to: Stop, Breathe and Settle Down.
I had to Go Deep, to realize and remember that my job is Support. There were others there who would be more appropriate to deal with the doctors.
Don’t Think–Just Do!
Focus on the sensations and feelings that allow me to be present and get the job done. And that job was to be there for the young man.
The process for resolving negative thoughts that have become a distraction works when you apply the three steps: Stop, Go Deep and Don’t think – just do.
These steps can become powerful reminders that performance breathing can stimulate
- The Neo-cortex (control center of your brain) to be mindful of the thoughts that result in confidence, trust and acceptance. To focus on the emotions and sensations that allow you to perform at your best and get the job done.
- The Director (Pre-Frontal Lobe) to see the “big picture” of what you want to have happen. To make positive adjustments to your attitude, intensity and focus. To take charge of your actions and achieve satisfaction and success.